Culinary Programs Texas A&m

I vs La Pulga

Everyone knows -read Siphonaptera: fleas, "are among nature's most feared enemies of dogs, cats and other furry mammals (including Adrian Gordo) but I never thought the day would come where I would also become bitter rivals.

I have no dogs, squirrels or rats and my chubby loved one is in Lima, so the blame for the overpopulation of fleas in the carpet of my room I owe to Max, my cat. Las pendejas have me awake night after night, and walking barefoot is undergoing dramatic patrol swollen. So I decided to confront them and kill them all, especially Colonel Flea, the Alpha Male, the baddest of the bad real conchesumadre. If Colonel Flea was a movie, be called "Alien vs. Predator" (no matter whether I or II ... both are a mess). He also had his damn tank.

Before my reckless but inevitable quest to find the Colonel, decided to find out everything I could about the race to develop the best strategy of attack and defense. This was what I learned:

• I faced a "Siphonaptera of Ctenocephalides Felis (in the case of my fat is called "Ctenocephalides Adris)
• These pendejas really started plague (and I chanter all the blame on the poor little rats ...)
• can jump 350 times the length your body. According Wiki is like a man jump a football field (that would be a graaan problem (besides the Tanquepulga (later I will tell you as I solved both problems)))
• After cutting, lay between 15 and 20 eggs per day. That means that in a week ... mmmm ... if you put me flea bite 10 to 12 day ... mmmm .... EGG AS SHIT.
still Larvitar
• When muni-muni eat shit-muni his old hair, dead skin and other junk.

Based on these 5 points on its basic features designed a 5-step plan that would begin to apply just remove the carpet in my room so that the cleaning lady's steeped in anti-flea poison. It was important to eliminate most of its troops (hence the numerical superiority, many?) Regardless of the method (Thanks God of War chemical weapons by ). Once the majority has fallen, could face the Colonel and his tank.

Then the 5 steps to take to the battle were: Learning

1. Latin and ratuno. The first to negotiate the surrender of the fleas honcho.
2. very posh
   If not accept the terms, I would use my knowledge of mouse to communicate with the King Rat and plan the start of hostilities against fleas. Obviously used as an argument to discredit the centuries and notoriety that he had done to his race.
3. As nicagando going to make it jump a football field (between 90 and 120 meters) and so have the capacity of these parasites and be on equal terms, I decided to reduce the official measures of the football field to a field Kicker. The shat to fleas, jump 1.5 meters is papaya.
4. would send the rats to complete the fleas survivors of chemical warfare with which the battle begins. The eggs cuchucientos scattered everywhere would be used to make a decent omelette to feed my army of Orgius Commu. The chef would Cheffcito tortilla, French food expert, who would host in my ranks.
5. At Larvitar muni-muni-muni the food with rat droppings. Everyone knows how dangerous it is rat poop

my war's success depended, as they have realized, that the very proud Flea Coronel not accept the terms of surrender and so he proposed to form a strategic alliance with the rats of the world. If you are smart, Colonel accept their surrender and avoid a needless bloodshed (in this case my blood, I've been sucking the very greedy paws) Thankfully the bugs they have flea brain (puuuta that bueeeno !) and everything went as planned.

The battle began. A massive contingent of mice, rats and some of the mienbros Happy Gang (those who tend to spend their breaks sitting on the tree of UDEP) did their thing and I took the chuchumeca the bloodsucker. Only was the colonel. Would be an epic battle. The prophecies said would last a thousand days and thousand nights. I had so long, my mom was calling me to lunch.

I called my army. The rats and mice offered the cheese that sold me Mariño Arequipa and the Gang, a wirito for everyone. I went to lunch and to all the shit you pulled the colonel. He had a tank, me several stoner.

never bother me again.